Your Trauma Is Valid

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Anonymous asked:

Urgent advice needed if possible. TWs for homophobia and abuse. My abusive parents are trying to convince me to go to a very homophobic college for my degree. I want to make them happy, but I was hoping I might be able to get out by then…and I don’t know what to do. — 🦡

Hi 🦡,

I’m so sorry to hear about the situation you’re in.

It could be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your parents about your concerns, as well as your reasons for wanting to attend a different college and how it could benefit your future. However, if your parents are abusive this may not be effective and it’s important to make the decision that’s safest.

You may want to consider looking into other colleges and universities that offer the degree you’re interested in, and that are more aligned with your values and personal growth. If possible, working towards financial independence can help you make decisions about your education and life without relying on your parents’ approval or support.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can provide you with strategies for coping with your situation and managing any emotional distress. If the situation becomes unbearable or if there are legal issues involved, you might want to consult with a lawyer or legal aid organization for guidance on your rights and options.

Please know that you deserve to pursue your own dreams and make choices that feel right for you. It might be a challenging journey, but seeking help and making informed decisions can empower you to build a better future for yourself. I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

🦡 mod bun trauma talks tw homophobia
traumasurvivors
traumasurvivorsactivities

Let's do a grounding exercise together! - 54321 Method

I know a lot of people often think about grounding as something that's reserved for panic attacks or things like that, but grounding can be good for almost any overwhelming emotion. It can be good to just center yourself. Even if you aren't feeling stressed, if you're up to it, take a moment and do this. This is still good to do when you're perfectly calm because this allows you to practice so that it will be easier to remember when you're stressed. (I don't recommend waiting until you're stressed to try a grounding exercise for the first time.)

We're going to look at the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Feel free to do this in your head, write it down somewhere private or share your answers in the replies, tags or reblogs.

Step 1 - Start with breathing if you can. Breathe in to the count of five, hold it for five seconds, and breathe out to the count of five. (If five is too long, feel free to adjust this to four.)

Step 2 - What are 5 things you can see around you? Examples: the clock on the wall, a plant on the windowsil, etc.

Step 3 - What are 4 things around you that you can touch? If you're up to it, also touch them and think about what they feel like (soft, hard, rough, etc). Examples: Maybe it's the blanket on your bed, maybe you're sitting on a chair, etc.

Step 4 - What are 3 things around you that you can hear? Examples: Maybe it's your cat purring, the fridge running, maybe there are birds outside, etc.

Step 5 - What are 2 things around you that you can smell? If you are not in an environment where you can smell something, feel free to move somewhere that you can or even bring a scent to the space (like body spray, body lotion, etc).

Step 6 - What is 1 thing you can taste? I find that people sometimes get frustrated with this one because if you haven't recently brushed your teeth or eaten, taste isn't easily identifiable. As an alternative if you don't currently taste something, what is is something you like to taste?

Step 7 - Take one final deep breath, counting to five as you breathe in, holding for five seconds, and then counting to five as you breathe out.

Step 8 - Take a moment to be proud of yourself. You did it and made it through this! If you can, try and put this aside to try and do once a day so that it may come to you easier in a time you need it.

q mental health positivity recovery healing grounding coping mod misa

Anonymous asked:

Looking for: validation? Reassurance?

Tw for ment of rape and me too outings

My friend outed her rapist on TikTok and FB messages to people was she wrong for that? Someone said she just wants attention, someone else said she’s a liar, someone else said shes going overboard bc she’s just spiteful, and then a lot of people also supported her. Can you tell her she wasn’t wrong for it and plenty of people have done this via social media and it’s honestly okay to do in my mind. I mean she had proof of her abuse so it’s def okay.

Hi anon,

Survivors should be allowed to hold their abusers accountable if that is what they feel is right. Unfortunately it’s a needlessly terrifying choice to publicly hold our abusers accountable because society is not equipped to treat their allegations with the respect they deserve, and often perpetuate victim blaming and rape culture. There will always be people claiming that a survivor is lying, attention-seeking, or spiteful. But that doesn’t change the truth.

It’s also worth talking about this idea of having proof. Not every survivor has evidence, but they should still be believed too. Just because it’s unfounded doesn’t mean it’s untrue. It’s also exhausting for survivors to not only endure their trauma, but have to prove it in order to be believed. False allegations are just as uncommon as for other crimes and it’s unfair to invalidate real survivors because of the off chance that they’re “making it up”.

If anyone else has any thoughts or comments, feel free to respectfully chime in. Otherwise, please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

mod bun trauma talks tw abuse tw emotional abuse tw sa tw r